Shabath

6/9/2008
soaked in

Poster: jac...pith...2ndmyspace
Mood: luminous
Category: None
6/9/08   1:24am



Today Your face, oh Lord is all I yearn for
With your mercy, you granted me your favor
Your presence I soak myself as I savor
The sweetness of your grace soothing my heart's sore
                                           
This moment You planned for a shower
How much I so long for us to be face to face 'till forever
You pick me up here from my muck
That I made for myself 'till I got stuck
My constant reckoning of all that I've done
My efforts worrying to make it all better equals to none
I take my loads off for it's been heavy for a while
What took me so long to realize that all I've to do is to kick my pile
I lift them up to You for in all my actions, my strength dissipates
How can I even one bit doubt that You would orchestrate
Forgiveness I ask of You
For my pride, my thoughts that all things I can do
The wholeness of it all I bring back to You.

This empty basin I opened for Your overflow
As I drink You, they see in me that glow
I dwell in Your presence, my Lord as You let me go deep
As You lovingly lull me to sleep

I cry no longer from pain
That love you're pouring me will never be drained
Tears are overflowing, I don't ever want to stop crying
I don't ever want this thirst for You to end
This reality is much more than vivid

As you work within me, may I never take off my focus
May I never get swayed ever again
By your side, I hold your hand and may I never let go of Your grip
I'll never get tired being redundant telling everyone how much you so love me and them
Your hugs are ever perpetual and true…



Jaclyn Cher (c)



                                                                            

Am I still talking?

6/18/2008
squint

Poster: jac...pith...2ndmyspace
Mood: distraught
Category: None

So  much whims, notions enveloping its wholeness
Blogging seems to be unsatisfying

Should I go out there acting like a madman, Doing a John preaching to the grass of the fields and rocks not ever caring if anyone hears him....
Why do people need validation before they let anything permeates
Why do we need a commotion to get some attention
The intentions we have, they don't penetrate if struggle is not ever present
Fire doesn't start without a spark
We don't need fire till we get cold
We don't feel the need unless we fall
We  fall  when we struggle, very seldom we succeed

Why then is our mind so unsettling....constantly telling us "stand up, stop procastinating,  caprices of a life uncrafted"
sigh...as we understand the psychology of man
We are graved by the urgency of the end
Yet we sit around and be comfortably numb
We walk the talk, we talk and talk, does anybody really hear us....
 When inklings battle, right ones always win
We are more than emotions, and goals and processes
the Holy spirit is real and is within us, why do we still curl up in our beds and regress?
Is fruition really that important?
As  little as a smile or act of kindness being shot at a target of intricacy
No longer perplexed,
whether we see it or not, our actions for we know are contagious and affect other's dispositions...

Yes upon waking up today I pray that I may cause someone to be grateful of God that he or she is created. 
Otherwise, what right do I have to  proceed in questioning  if I myself  am in a quiescence?

c. Jaclyn Cher Tabili

Nostalgia- a poem

6/20/2008
nostalgia

Poster: jac...pith...2ndmyspace
Mood: adored
Category: None
Aug,'99
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You're all torn out
Ran away from everyone, relationships disintegrate
Obscure semi-permanent pout
Struggling for survival of the fittest
Against the ravaging river that you still insist

Depression is kicking in
Stayed to sleep decided to commit a sin
Devine intervention, we should always be grateful
Still granted us the chance to live a life in full

Love is everything a man could pursue
The Will of the Lord, in your maze is a cue
Follow the arrow
Amidst  a vanishing sorrow

You can only tell that you can make it so many times
Tried your best effort only made to be declined
You can only say "It's enough"
Losing self respect, possessions, and emotions as the pilgrimage gets tough

Where did the enthusiasm fly?
Eyes dried up, no more tears to cry
If this is to become mature
I'd rather stay punctured

Inevitable times, I learned to see beyond
Confide in my inner child
Eagle has to soar
In God's loving arms everything in me I pour

People will always be at your side, at the right pace of life
Unconsciously, sometimes we strike a strife
Let me just live and learn
I pushed people away, there will come a time for me to yearn

Time is a healing ground
Bits and pieces found
Love that was shattered
Memory, a company is captured


 Comfort arrives for those on the floor
As peace attaches in the midst of war
Painful hearts learn to sigh
Inner joy levels high….
To Jesus, all the glory I give with a cry

archive from myspace blogs

..> ..>
28 Nov 2007
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substratum
Current mood: embarrassed

?I actually am not sure if this could be even accessed by anybody, since my profile is a confuzzled pile of dung right now, and my blog sign just got kicked out into invisibility. i so am in the mood to talk, but there's nothing to talk about. or maybe i just exhausted my fave topics with my circle.I'd exciting weekend, but homigoodness, it just dawned! I think i ran out of frivolrities lately that everything is so serious, and that is why refrained fr all the talks.It was a dramatic sunday, all in a span of i don't know, 6hrs!huh. i can't say anything here though. I feel like im visited by my highschool memento: when everything was so innocent, full of vibrant, adolescent, raging,ardent yet subtle tickle of your heart as your crush passes by.Minus the zitz though. in this day and age, should i be actually feeling this way? i don't know. can i do anything to stop it? i don't think so.
I love it at the same time but it's wearisome that my cousins et al, are trying so hard to hook me up with somebody. just to spite them, i should just be a spinster. i settled on that anyway, anyhow. I'm not worried, i don't know why, should i be? MY GOD created me for HIM, and if He grants me a chance to have a beautiful husband and family, then i should be happy, and if not, i should be still as elated, oui? Jeremiah didn't have to worry of that, he still found contentment in life. And i think the secret of going through life in general, as happy as you could be, is that, settling in your heart the main purpose of why we are created in the first place, that alone will give you peace in any path you are in. And that there's is no need to plot.A machination of your own desire is not even a sense of realization, if your focus is as real as it is vivid.
Anyhu, it's not for me to tell that i don't enjoy my moments of frivolity either for i think they are made to cheer us up also in doleful instances.
..> ..> Currently listening :
The Best of Sixpence None the Richer
By Sixpence None the Richer
Release date: 26 October, 2004 .. ..>..>
2:31 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
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08 Nov 2007
..> ..>
urgh
Current mood: loved
how can a mind so unsettling. i think i need to hike, i have all these energy and don't know wut to do. somebody please, teach me to play the piano, guitar, drums the box thing,i have yet to ask whuts his face for its name. i'll be in my spanish class soon (in an hour and 19mins), my last class,i think, i wish i speak fluently already, and so with french. um, ill enroll for french,span,voice,guitar,maybe piano,for this sem, if it's God's will. i need to fill my undeserved idleness, before i start my conbaffled review for clin lab science... again. argh!! i feel bad for those around me, rt now...they can feel my neurosis but so kind enough to deny it. that's wut you get for loving me. hehe. wuv yah guys. I someday will be calmer..... yah, when im six feet under!!hearts,? hugs....
..> ..> Currently reading :
Crime and Punishment (Bantam Classics)
By Fyodor Dostoevsky
Release date: 15 October, 1996 .. ..>..>
4:28 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
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Winter in New York City 2012

       This winter, Mary, traveled from Germany where she presently resides, to visit America, stopped by first in Utah and San Diego.  Bernie was getting to move back from the beautiful mountains of Colorado to gloomy but delightful Germany, where she grew up. Jackie lives in paradise San Diego just got back from paradise Philippines where she grew up, Singapore and just another adventure at hand, didn't expect anything from this trip....Three gorgeous ladies ventured the city that never sleeps, an event that changed their lives forever meanwhile finding their friendship of a lifetime.

Milano y Venezia 2011

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Predisposed- My Sensitivity is now Thin as I hope my Real Me Stays, for I am Forced to do so

I am predisposed to fail. My parents were born poor and unsuccessful in marriage, finances and life... so shall I be.  
    This could be the most unaccepted words I could ever hear from anyone I talk to. 

   I look up to this grandma and my dad, cause I saw their generosity as long as I remember. (I could also mention my mom's  mother but she died long before I was born, but I heard of her too and her sister from US, from which their daughters, my mom and my aunt, respectively turned out to be as generous as they are also.)My dad was born of a simple farmer in the Philippines  and made something out of his life and worked abroad  and I see the blessings it produced towards our family and  cousins and is spread out even to the grand kids here in America and back home in the Philippines.

        I guess same circumstances different situations... I don't see any ending. As much as I turn my back, tilt my head the other way, tears trickling down my face, my heart in tacked and I had noticed I already am calloused  from all these. I am now forced to have no feelings, nor any emotions towards it. I guess if this is what you call mature then be it. Is this part of being Filipino? I have asked this to myself numerous times: If I was to be a little bit more fortunate than others, must I tend to everyone else who asked of me? How do I decipher the necessary and those who makes a leech out of our lives. I had nursed a fiancé/boyfriend who almost suck the life of me when I was younger, all lessons learned. Does other think I should be made of steel or hard as a rock or better yet, MONEY? My husband called and told me just now, "we are working abroad and that is life and that is THAT. "
I suppose I just keep quite and sleep and let the course of life take it.

whatidowhilemyhusbandisaway 
   Yes, we didn't choose our family, our parents, our statures, our parent's occupations and fortunes or misfortunes, situations, the place of birth, the place where we grew up, and current (or maybe for some they did choose their current state of being), our cultures, the people who surrounds us. A lot of misconception of people that are stuck in a rut is that we don't have  a choice but we do. We are given gifts, talents, opportunities, circumstances to choose to design whom would we be with and around us, where we should be, where we stand, what kind of life should we have. I believe that the Lord never ceases in giving us chances in life long as we shall live and long as we open our eyes and keep struggling, striving, improving to be better.

God never cease loving and blessing us.
Zzzzzzz